I went to Mass yesterday at the Carmel of Maria Regina—a Carmelite convent about ten minutes from home. This was my second visit there in three weeks, and though I don't see it as a permanent church home for my family it is a quiet, prayerful place that I enjoy visiting.

After Mass, I was walking through the parking lot to my van. As I walked to the driver's side door, I heard a voice behind me.

"I'm surprised to see you here with those on your bumper."

He was referring to the three well-worn Obama campaign bumper stickers that have adorned our van for the last two years. This wasn't the first time I've heard a rude comment about them, but it was the first time I heard one in a church parking lot after Mass.

How Christian of you, I thought, but I refused to counter his comment with one just as rude. Instead, I got in the car and started backing out.

The parking lot is quite narrow so it took a few tries to pull out of the spot and straighten up without hitting someone. As I was about to drive off, I glanced over my shoulder. He stood there staring at my bumper stickers, like he could peel them off if he glared at them hard enough.

"What?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"What?" He sounded surprised that I was challenging him.

I paused for a moment, wondering what I'd say next. When I opened my mouth again, I think the Holy Spirit was guiding me.

"God bless you."

His scowl transformed into a smile. "God bless you too."

Last year I wrote a post about the never-ending splits within Protestant churches and my own distaste for this as a "catholic-minded" Episcopalian. At the time, I said I was considering joining the Roman Catholic Church. Thirteen months later, I am not only one step closer, but I may have passed the point where I can no longer go back.

I've reached my breaking point, and it has nothing to do with the headline issues—where I actually come down on the "liberal" side— or with the deeper theological fractures like communion without baptism—where I am an unbending traditionalist. Instead, it has come down to an intolerable situation right here in Eugene, Oregon.

We left our old parish—the church where we were married and where our daughter was baptized—over a major dispute with the Rector. This dispute, involving my daughter's so-called disruptions during Mass, left us feeling unwelcome to the point where we could no longer be in that church or even in the same room with that priest.

He has recently retired, and I expected him and his wife to relocate to the Midwest where their grandchildren live. That's what I would do, and though we had no intent of returning to our old parish we were relieved that we would no longer risk running into him out in public.

Then just a few days ago I found out that he has not only decided to remain in Eugene, but he is now the "Rector Emeritus" of the parish. Instead of hiring a new rector, at least for the time being, the vestry have given their assistant priest the title "Priest-in-Charge" along with rector's workload while allowing their former rector to retain his power behind the scenes.

Ultimately, this is the vestry's call, and we really don't care how they run their parish. That same day, though, I found out that our former rector was filling in for the summer at another parish in town. A parish we might have visited not knowing he'd be there celebrating the Eucharist.

So now we're faced with the situation that we might run into him at any of the local Episcopal churches. Worse, our daughter would be with us and he, through his actions, gave up the right to ever see her again. This leaves me, as the Episcopalian in the family, with two choices: leave Eugene or leave the Episcopal Church. My wife's job prohibits the former so I'm left with the latter.

My wife will be ok. She has the same disagreements with the Vatican that I do, but she was raised Catholic and is more comfortable overall in Catholic churches. My daughter is too young to know she was baptized in an Episcopal Church, and will settle right in. RCIA will be a breeze for me, I could probably teach it myself given my grounding in Catholic theology and practice.

The hard part will be giving up all the things I love about the Episcopal Church: the liturgy, the music, the vested servers—I doubt I'll ever be able to distribute communion in street clothes—the abundant use of incense, bells, and holy water in Anglo-Catholic parishes, the chanted Eucharistic prayers, and litanies. All of these things could, and honestly should, be part of Catholic Masses, but in my experience they rarely are. Guitars and tambourines? Yes! "Smells and bells?" Not so much.

Maybe once I join I could find other former Anglicans, or other musicians interested in chant. Maybe I can find a sympathetic priest just waiting for the right parishioner to get something going. After all, I am a follower of Christ and in Christ there is always hope. All I know is that we need a church to raise Anna in and I'm left with one option.

It's time to cross the Tiber.

Apparently, Goodwill's are a great place to find used bibles. Last week, I found a Revised English Bible with Apocrypha in hardback for $5 and yesterday I found a New English Bible with Apocrypha, also hardback and in very good condition, for $4. So I can check one more bible off my list.

As for the others I'm wanting to get, only the Douay Rheims is old enough to find it's way to a Goodwill, yet despite the numerous KJVs I find at every store I stop in, I have yet to stumble across the traditional language Catholic equivalent.

The English Standard Version is very recent. Oxford just published an edition with the Apocrypha last year, so the chances of one finding it's way to a used book store of any kind are small. The Orthodox Study Bible is only two years old, so it's also unlikely I'll find one used.

I picked up a Revised English Bible with Apocrypha today at Goodwill. It was a real find, hard cover in very good condition for $5, and is now part of my Bible collection. One by one, over the last few years, I've been buying every Catholic edition I can find along with any other Bible edition with the Deuterocanon (or Apocrypha) included. So far, I have the following on my bookshelf:

• The King James Version with Apocrypha
• The Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition—aka The Ignatius Bible
• The New Revised Standard Version with Apocrypha
• The New American Bible
• The Jerusalem Bible
• The New Jerusalem Bible

At some point, I also plan to buy the following:

• The Douay Rheims Bible
• The New English Bible with Apocrypha
• The English Standard Version with Apocrypha
• The Orthodox Study Bible

I believe this list covers all the major English translations with the Deuterocanon, excluding paraphrase bibles. Oh and I've also started collecting breviaries and missals.

What can I say? I'm a dork.

Back in May, I attempted to join Oregon Christian Writers. I say “attempted” because the online form failed between collecting my information and collecting my money. I was in the group’s database, but wasn’t technically a member in good standing.

I contacted the membership director and she suggested I send a check. Did I need to fill out a membership form? No, they already had my information.

So I planned to send a check right away, but life got in the way and before I knew it two months had passed.

Now when I originally signed up, I was under the impression that the Apostles’ Creed served as the group’s doctrinal statement. The OCW home page says as much, but when I downloaded the membership form (out of curiosity) I found this:

From the Constitution of the Oregon Chrsitian Writers: Doctrinal Statement

We believe in one God, existing in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, coequal and eternal;

We believe that man was created in innocence, but fell in Adam, and is totally unable to redeem himself;

We believe in the full plenary inspiration of the Holy Scriptures, and believe them to be the absolutely authoritative and infallible word of God, without error in the original writings;

We believe salvation has been provided through our Lord Jesus Christ, who was born of the Virgin, suffered and died for our sins upon the cross, rose from the dead, ascended to God’s right hand, intercedes for us, and is coming again in power and great glory;

We believe it is the responsibility of all who are saved to seek to win others to Christ;

I have no problem with points one and four—these points paraphrase sections of the Nicene Creed—and I’m fine with point five as well, though I take my cue from St. Francis: "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words."

My issues are with points two and three.  Can I interpret the story of the fall metaphorically, or am I required to believe in a literal Adam? Does the phrase “totally unable to redeem himself” require that I accept the Calvinistic doctrine of Total Depravity? Do the words “absolutely authoritative and infallible” require not only that I accept Sola Scriptura but a fundamentalist version thereof?

I asked these questions over a month ago and have yet to hear a reply. Since then I have met a Catholic writer (and on again off again member) who remembered some “prickly feelings” regarding her Catholicism and added, “I don't think OCW is a literary home for either of us.”

So I’m left wondering “Is there a Christian writers community for me?” One that is open to all Christians, not just those who accept a narrow, borderline fundamentalist view.

I’m still looking . . .