Wednesday, I took Anna to her favorite pizza parlor for lunch. She's not a big fan of pizza — she prefers the salad bar—but loves the pizza parlor's enclosed play area. It's perfect for both of us: she gets a safe place to play and I can keep an eye on her while I write.

As usual, I was sitting where I could see Anna play. She was in the ball pit with a boy and a girl both about her age. Suddenly, the boy picked up a ball and threw it at Anna. Understandably, she screamed her head off.

I got up immediately and ran in to get her. I gave her a big hug right away, then walked her out, and sat her on my lap for a few minutes to calm her down. Meanwhile, the boy walked out of the play area too. His mom called him over to the table.

"What did you do, Spencer?" She hadn't seen the incident.

He mumbled something in reply.

"Well you go over there and apologize to her right away," she demanded.

He resisted at first, but then gave in.

"I'm sorry," he said pouting.

"Thank you for apologizing," I said to him. He walked back to the play area. Soon he was playing with the other girl again.

"Are you ready to go back in too?" I asked Anna.

"Yeah," Anna said wiping a tear away.

I set her down and she ran into the room. The boy had returned to the ball pit, and Anna started to walk over to him. He said something to her, but I couldn't hear it. Suddenly she stopped.

Again, she screamed her head off. I went in and got her. I put Anna on my lap again and tried to figure out what upset her. The boy walked out too, and headed straight over to his mom.

"What did you say to her, Spencer?" she asked.

He mumbled something in reply, and his mom started laughing.

"What did he say?" I asked.

"He asked if he could throw the ball at her head," she replied.

Anna didn't get the humor, of course.

"That's not fun-ny!" she said. I can't help but laugh when she says that.

Anna was done playing, so we headed home. That night I told the story to Julia and the two of us sat down with Anna. We explained to her that while we understood why she screamed and cried when the boy threw the ball at her, she should have just told him 'no' the second time instead of screaming her head off again.

"So what do you say the next time a kid says something you don't like?" Julia asked.

"I say 'no,'" Anna replied.

"And what don't you do?" I asked.

"Scream off my head."